Finding time to self-reflection is essential for taking clear next steps, but often ends up on low on the priority list. One way you can weave reflection into your life is to get yourself a witness.

You can be witnessed by calling a friend, discussing reflections on Facebook, or getting a coach. Witness is that sustained attention that teaches you to see yourself clearly. To witness takes a level of inner calm, and the quality of your witness you receive affects how much you gain from the experience.

Witnesses can be found in unexpected places. When I told my 7 year old friend about my transgender identity, she said, “Wow. Really?! I’m not sure what all this means, but it sounds important to you. Thanks so much for sharing.” Her earnestness and focus provided an opening for me to reflect and feel seen.

The wise eyes of children remind me how to slow down and be present. This is why I return to play time and time again. Play stimulates our imagination, our muscle of possibility, while grounding us in the present moment because games have an element of the unknown.

Play is a way we can train our bodies to feel safe in the unknown. The improv game “Yes! Let’s!” is a great way I’ve gotten adults into imaginative play. In “Yes! Let’s!” a person shouts out “Let’s (fill in the activity),” and a group responds, “Yes, Let’s!” and people begin pretending to do the activity until someone calls out a new activity. A favorite memory is hearing an AIDS activist say “Let’s eat an ice cream cone.”, and people pulled ice cream cones out of nowhere and started licking up the melting drips.

We all need a little play and a little unknown in our daily life. So let’s witness somebody and say “Yes, Let’s!" To the next silly proposal that comes your way. There is power in the unknown.