Forgiveness as Release

When someone gets under your skin and you want to move on, try forgiveness. Forgiveness is a spiritual form of letting go. Forgiveness is not for the person who hurt you, it’s about you.

I had a white, anti-racist ally, betray me during a workshop. She acted out anti-Black sentiment and then defended herself. And for weeks I kept asking, how could she do that? As my mind wanted to escape this betrayal, I kept reviewing my feelings about it, and the pain wasn’t leaving.  

Then I remembered the power of forgiveness.

When you are hurt by someone, an energetic connection is created - a link between you and them. As you stay connected, your body keeps trying to process the pain, but without intention and attention your body will struggle to release the pain.

Forgiveness can release you from the energetic link caused by pain. 

It’s a message to your spirit that you don’t need to hold onto this pain anymore. We hold onto pain as a way to protect us next time. And yet the pain doesn’t protect us, instead it keeps our system alert, which creates a sense of exhaustion.

When we acknowledge that we are now safe, then we’re able to release past pains. So I pause and say this outloud. 

“I am safe. I am well. I forgive you, [insert name].” 

Now it’s not a magic switch, but it does initiate a process. Each day, I feel less heaviness, and more freedom. The person may never know what you did because it’s not your responsibility to fix them. Let the pain go, and in its place invite love.