When you know the end of a process is coming, increase your attention instead of tuning out. This helps you gain insight on how you have grown, and supports you to integrate the experience into your everyday life.

I entered a friend’s mother’s home, which felt like it was degrees away from where I call home. I’d been there before, but the details were missing. I missed the social class training on the wall with signs about manners next to imported art. I missed the formal dining room, but I did remember the sense of intimidation and when my chest puffed-up as a way to survive. However, this time was different.

Today I laughed at the art, at the details, at the colors. And I celebrated the human who invited me in, as she sat in front of me at the kitchen table.

Can you laugh in the face of intimidating power? It takes the skill of listening, breathing, and choosing the emotional state you want to be in. Because if you can laugh at hard times, then I believe you can laugh in the face of the police and watch their power drip away.

Once when driving to an organizing meeting, the red and blue lights began flashing behind me. My pulse increased as I slowed to a stop. As the cop came closer, I breathed in and out, in and out, to release thoughts that I could become a statistic, dead in a few moments.

I roll down the window and saw the uniformed white man’s hands shaking. He was scared. He knew his power was temporary. He did not want to be a statistic. I offer warmth. My tone echoed of ivory towers and elite schools, as I played the game of cat and mouse. This time the mouse wins.

As the man walked away with my identification, I rolled up my window and I laughed. We have been playing this game for centuries, and I refuse to be scared. Refuse to bow down to the puppet dressed as an enforcer. I know I have power, and if I am going down I will carry a spirit of joy.

That time I drove away. I breathed and I laughed. I survived, but not by cowering. But seeing the game he was playing, and deciding to remember that when the world tells me that I should be in terror, I can live a life filled with joy.

You can refuse terror as a constant state of being. You can welcome joy as a reality the coexists with other emotions in my life. In that moment you are healing your ancestors, and allowing yourself to believe that you’re gonna make it through.