Being present with people, includes being present with a range of emotions. When providing presence is your daily practice, it can leave you feeling tender when you get time to be with yourself. Here’s a method I find useful to slow down and tend to my tenderness.

During an evening workshop my shoulders kept creeping up, a clear sign that the stress of teaching from morning to night was catching up with me. In the chaos that followed COVID-19, I had been holding people’s grief, sadness, and confusion for days. So I committed to try an old practice for release: take a bath.

That night, I chose sleep over a bath, but the next day I switched my schedule to make it happen. After meditating, eating, and attending an early morning meeting, I had 30 minutes clear. So instead of continuing on my computer, I change the rhythm. It was time to take a bath.

My grandmother and great-grandmother were both house cleaners, so I start with an honoring of them. I started scrubbing the tub clean, giving gratitude for my home and my ancestors who taught me to tend to the details.

When the water began to collect in the tub basin, the energy in the room shifted. The sound of water filled my ears, and I breathed deep. With each exhale I released the mind chatter full of self-criticism about my slowing down.

I slow down for my family members who cleaned tubs and never got to bath in one. The water’s buoyancy reminded me that I don’t need to carry everything, nor is it my responsibility to carry everything, so I let go a little bit more.

I turned on music, climbed into the tub, and felt myself enveloped in love. Afterward, I moisturize before jumping back into work. A way to have the feel of the bath carry with me.

During high stress times, your routines may fall off schedule, and care may slip to the background. However these are exactly the times when your care routine is needed. So when your schedule feels up in the air, start to take bold choices with your care.

Many days, just doing one aspect of this bath time ritual can serve as a grounded anchor. Pausing to thank your ancestors, moving to music, and moisturizing can all slow you down. How are you tending to your tenderness today?