Finding work-life balance when you are valued for your experience and your identity can be a challenge. At large and small institutions, I've found how to succeed as a Black, queer person, while tending to my soul. The key is attention and intention.
When I worked at Princeton University, I was at the top of my game professionally. The benefits, pay, and work were so good. But the racism, sexism, and power abuse at the institution was disgusting. I had to find a way to be in my integrity and keep my job. So I started by remembering that most people in organizations are following rules and playing a game.
Most games have explicit rules, but most organizations have implicit rules. Organizations reflect behavioral patterns in wider society, so just leaving your job when you don’t like the rules isn’t always the solution. To navigate your workplace and find balance, the first step is to bring your attention toward the rules of the game.
At Princeton there were unwritten rules about the dress code, who gets to speak to whom, and the order in which people should speak during meetings.
You can figure out the implicit rules in your organization. Watch how people behave in meetings, and notice the patterns your see. Let go of your judgments about the rules and people’s behavior, instead notice what rules people are following.
Once you have a sense of the rules you can follow or break them with intention.
At Princeton, I chose to follow the dress code when I was building relationships that broke hierarchical expectations. When I wanted to build relationship with an ally during a meeting, I broke the rules and spoke up out of turn because it would grab people’s attention. I never break all the rules at once, but I did use my awareness of the rules to do work that was in my integrity.
When you are aware of the rules at an institution, then you have the freedom to choose how to align your intentions with your actions and create the impact you desire.
This is freedom work under the radar. You get clear about how you want to challenge things, you put aside the obstacles, and you do it.
Remember: You are free. Access your wisdom, act with intention, and impact our world. That way the job can’t suck your soul away.