Tending your own grounding is important if you want to show up for people who are in challenging moments. Listening deeply is assisted when you don’t let your own thoughts take over someone else process. But even when we try our best, sometimes we end up ungrounded.

When I was asked to support a friend through a discernment process, I jumped at the opportunity. She welcomed me into a discernment process from the Quaker tradition called a clearness committee. In this process, someone seeking clarity invites members of their community to come together and holding space, ask them questions, listen to responses, and offer insights.

At the end of my friend's clearness committee, I spoke up to offer a closing thought: “I don’t think you’re ready for this next step.” I then offered a list of reasons why, and left that call feeling high on energy. But something in my body did not feel right.

So I grabbed my dog and invited my partner for a walk to process what was happening for me. As we moved, I heard myself share what I did well and where some bad advice came in. I started comparing myself to my friend, and got jealous!

Jealousy emerges when you feel insecure and project your self-judgment onto another person. It’s usually unconscious at first, and it is more insidious when you’re not grounded. So while jealousy isn’t an emotion that comes to me regularly, it’s ungrounded core definitely felt familiar.

Once I identified my jealousy, I tried a few practices to get grounded in reality. Before going home, I extended the walk and listened to my partner reflect my words back to me. At home I ate a snack and sat alone to take some deep breaths. Then called my friend to apologize for bringing my jealousy and interrupting her process.

So when you find yourself ungrounded, there is nothing wrong with you. Getting grounded is a practice that you can return to regularly. So take a few deep breaths, find a moment alone, or PRACTICE another one of your grounding rituals.