If you are supporting other people, remember to tend to your own healing. Many people come to social justice work because we got hurt or witnessed hurt as young people. Those early memories create a painful imprint on us, that can lead us to unconsciously hurt our social justice comrades.

In college, my childhood feeling of lack of control turned into me controlling every detail of events I would help organize. I remember one conference seemed so successful by external measures: everything was on time, we had the largest attendance in years, and the speakers stuck around all day because the conversations were so engaging. But when I walked out of the main conference room, I came upon a group of fellow organizers who were complaining about me.

I had spent so much time trying to perfect every measurable detail that I forgot to tend to the humans in front of me. And they were all so exhausted and hurt that they couldn’t enjoy the conference. Instead of feeling empowered by organizing the event, I replicated my childhood hurt and had them feeling powerless.

Now when I am supporting teams, I pay special attention to letting people define what they need. Then I slow down and listen again. As activist trainer Daniel Hunter taught me, "Asking once will get you a polite answer. Asking again shows you care.”

Your old hurt may come up at unexpected times, which is why we all benefit from tending to our healing regularly. Notice what old patterns may be driving your social justice work. Ask yourself: What drives me to do this work? To what hurt of mine might this be attached? What’s a healing modality that help me tend my old hurt?

If you feel so moved, comment below with how you’ve tended to your healing journey, even if it’s giving yourself a hug in this moment. When you are witnessed sharing your stories, you model that healing is possible. This reminds us all that change is possible, and isn’t change our goal?