You become most familiar with your own challenges and personal growth work, that’s why you are able to clearly see similar issues in other people. When facilitating groups, the people in your group's can act like a mirrors, showing you the parts of yourself that you do and do not want reflected back. The best way to deal with the parts of yourself that you don’t want to see is to stop trying to change the group, and tend to your own growth.
One way to notice you need to do your own work is to get yourself a friend who will notice when you disappear. When preparing to teach a new course on navigating chaos, imposture syndrome hit me hard. As it tried to hide my feelings, my co-facilitator Erva Baden caught me and helped me through.
Hiding from feelings of inadequacy is a reaction to fear that can creep in during chaotic times. Tending to this fear is key to your personal growth and the growth of your groups.
When you tend to your growth - or innerwork - you can better help others through similar content. So we used a well tried practice for approaching fear: (1) name the fear out loud, (2) feel it, and (3) move yourself (often with support) slowly into a new state.
I named my fear of being ill equipped to help our facilitation team well, helped my brain open up to the things that have worked. I saw how being ill equipped for the moment is a theme for people in chaos. My work was definitely connected to the workshop content.
But then my body started to contract and collapse because the fear felt so big. So to help my body enter a new state, I took the words from a familiar song, “I am Open” by Holly Near, and used them to help me scan and clear my chakras.
I am Open (Root Chakra)
And I am Willing (Sacral Chakra)
For to be hopeless (Solar Plexus)
Would feel so strange. (Heart Chakra)
It dishonors those who go before us. (Throat Chakra)
So lift me up (Third Eye)
To the Light of Change. (Crown Chakra)
I slowed down to repeat lines that I didn’t believe, and went through the song a couple times. When I silence and stillness became dominant Erva asked me “How do you feel now?” And “Better” easily fell from my lips.
What’s your personal growth work that you see your groups and communities reflecting back to you?