Refusing to be intimidated

When you know the end of a process is coming, increase your attention instead of tuning out. This helps you gain insight on how you have grown, and supports you to integrate the experience into your everyday life. 

I entered a friend’s mother’s home, which felt like it was degrees away from where I call home. I’d been there before, but the details were missing. I missed the social class training on the wall with signs about manners next to imported art. I missed the formal dining room, but I did remember the sense of intimidation and when my chest puffed-up as a way to survive. However, this time was different.

Today I laughed at the art, at the details, at the colors. And I celebrated the human who invited me in, as she sat in front of me at the kitchen table. 

Can you laugh in the face of intimidating power? It takes the skill of listening, breathing, and choosing the emotional state you want to be in. Because if you can laugh at hard times, then I believe you can laugh in the face of the police and watch their power drip away.

Once when driving to an organizing meeting, the red and blue lights began flashing behind me. My pulse increased as I slowed to a stop. As the cop came closer, I breathed in and out, in and out, to release thoughts that I could become a statistic, dead in a few moments.

I roll down the window and saw the uniformed white man’s hands shaking. He was scared. He knew his power was temporary. He did not want to be a statistic. I offer warmth. My tone echoed of ivory towers and elite schools, as I played the game of cat and mouse. This time the mouse wins.

As the man walked away with my identification, I rolled up my window and I laughed. We have been playing this game for centuries, and I refuse to be scared. Refuse to bow down to the puppet dressed as an enforcer. I know I have power, and if I am going down I will carry a spirit of joy.

That time I drove away. I breathed and I laughed. I survived, but not by cowering. But seeing the game he was playing, and deciding to remember that when the world tells me that I should be in terror, I can live a life filled with joy. 

You can refuse terror as a constant state of being. You can welcome joy as a reality the coexists with other emotions in my life. In that moment you are healing your ancestors, and allowing yourself to believe that you’re gonna make it through.

Minimize the crash

When you tend to the internal rhythms of your body, you strengthen one of the most valuable tools that supports the demands of social justice work: the human body. As a performer and organizer, I have learned how to survive long days, but they often have a ricochet effect where I’m exhausted and sick soon afterward. If you want to shift away from the burnout, bring your attention to your transitions. 

When I was preparing for a recent performance, I knew that tech week - the final week before a show premieres - was going to require me to be in the theatre for 12+ hours a day. To avoid being sick, I shifted my sleep schedule a week beforehand, moving from 8 hours a night to 6 hours plus a nap. Then I started spreading my busy periods across my full day to practice being alert at any hour. 

By the time tech week came I felt energized through the long days, and ready to fully utilize any rest breaks with a nap and food. When I finished the performance, I was tired, but there was no crash. Instead I had a couple slower days, and then picked back up to continue.

Conversations about self-care often center escape and pampering of the body and mind, but life is full of seasons that require you to be fully engaged like farmers throughout most of the year. So when you help your body transition into a busier season, you support your body to not get hurt while you take on demand work.

The human body is a highly flexible tool. I was speaking with an organizer who has taken on massive campaign, and she shared that her body had adapted 14 hour days and 7 day weeks well. She came out of a quieter period of life, and then she prepared her body to take on the new demands. 

You can shift your pace. Right now I’m practicing by waking up earlier and meditating so I am ready for spring when I launch a new class and increase my travel. What in your life is getting ready to blossom? Comment below with how might you tend to that transition this week. 

Goals require innerwork

Staying focused on your goals can keep your attention on what matters instead of the many distractions that will emerge. In workshops, goals can propel a group forward even when facilitators detour to respond to an emergent need or learning opportunity. This happens when you create goals  that inspire you even when things get hard, and translates to other goals in life.

While working at a university, I had a coworker who got on my last nerve. When she saw me succeeding, she would give me extra work at the last minute to me set-up for failure. Once at a major meeting she sat next to me, ignored me when I said hello, and then proceeded to talk to everyone else around me. I tried to avoid her, but I could feel tension every time she came to my mind.

When I talked to coworkers, it was clear why she didn’t like me: I was a brown person succeeding outside the normal rules of engagement, and she was a white woman who had learned to succeed by playing well in the white boys club. She didn’t show signs of wanting to change a way of being that worked for her, so I had to stop trying to psychologize her and figure out what I was going to do. 

Plus I was distracted by her and getting off track on my goal of building intergenerational ties among the LGBTQ people of color on campus. So I did some innerwork, or personal growth work, to explore why I was getting hooked on this white coworker. 

I reflected on my history of being undermined by white women, released some of the pain, and then anchored in new memories of people who supported my work among LGBTQ people of color. Parallel to my inner work, I set in motion an action plan to help me practice being unhooked from this coworker. 

The first step was listening to her in meetings, noticing my judgments emerge, and choosing another point of focus. When I would go to meetings, I would ask: Why am I here? How can I engage in this conversation in a way that serves me, my goals, and my people? 

That process gave me experiences engaging with my white coworker when needed and ignoring her when she tried to get me to react negatively. As time passed, I thought about her less and less, and surprisingly I was able to work with her more and more. 

When you have goals, get prepared to do innnerwork alongside your actions in the world. Pairing the two together activate your goals and release some of the blocks that may inhibit you from reaching your goal. What goals do you have where you want to pay attention to some innerwork and action?

Tending to healing

If you are supporting other people, remember to tend to your own healing. Many people come to social justice work because we got hurt or witnessed hurt as young people. Those early memories create a painful imprint on us, that can lead us to unconsciously hurt our social justice comrades.

In college, my childhood feeling of lack of control turned into me controlling every detail of events I would help organize. I remember one conference seemed so successful by external measures: everything was on time, we had the largest attendance in years, and the speakers stuck around all day because the conversations were so engaging. But when I walked out of the main conference room, I came upon a group of fellow organizers who were complaining about me.

I had spent so much time trying to perfect every measurable detail that I forgot to tend to the humans in front of me. And they were all so exhausted and hurt that they couldn’t enjoy the conference. Instead of feeling empowered by organizing the event, I replicated my childhood hurt and had them feeling powerless.

Now when I am supporting teams, I pay special attention to letting people define what they need. Then I slow down and listen again. As activist trainer Daniel Hunter taught me, "Asking once will get you a polite answer. Asking again shows you care.” 

Your old hurt may come up at unexpected times, which is why we all benefit from tending to our healing regularly. Notice what old patterns may be driving your social justice work. Ask yourself: What drives me to do this work?  To what hurt of mine might this be attached? What’s a healing modality that help me tend my old hurt?

If you feel so moved, comment below with how you’ve tended to your healing journey, even if it’s giving yourself a hug in this moment. When you are witnessed sharing your stories, you model that healing is possible. This reminds us all that change is possible, and isn’t change our goal?

Grounding is a practice

Tending your own grounding is important if you want to show up for people who are in challenging moments. Listening deeply is assisted when you don’t let your own thoughts take over someone else process. But even when we try our best, sometimes we end up ungrounded.

When I was asked to support a friend through a discernment process, I jumped at the opportunity. She welcomed me into a discernment process from the Quaker tradition called a clearness committee. In this process, someone seeking clarity invites members of their community to come together and holding space, ask them questions, listen to responses, and offer insights.

At the end of my friend's clearness committee, I spoke up to offer a closing thought: “I don’t think you’re ready for this next step.” I then offered a list of reasons why, and left that call feeling high on energy. But something in my body did not feel right.

So I grabbed my dog and invited my partner for a walk to process what was happening for me. As we moved, I heard myself share what I did well and where some bad advice came in. I started comparing myself to my friend, and got jealous! 

Jealousy emerges when you feel insecure and project your self-judgment onto another person. It’s usually unconscious at first, and it is more insidious when you’re not grounded. So while jealousy isn’t an emotion that comes to me regularly, it’s ungrounded core definitely felt familiar.

Once I identified my jealousy, I tried a few practices to get grounded in reality. Before going home, I extended the walk and listened to my partner reflect my words back to me. At home I ate a snack and sat alone to take some deep breaths. Then called my friend to apologize for bringing my jealousy and interrupting her process.

So when you find yourself ungrounded, there is nothing wrong with you. Getting grounded is a practice that you can return to regularly. So take a few deep breaths, find a moment alone, or PRACTICE another one of your grounding rituals.

Slowing down together

There’s a unique synergy when you bring people together, and yet I find people often leave gatherings fried. To maximize time together, you may pack an agenda and try to get many things done. But when you slow down together you can actually increase effectiveness and energy. 

Last year, I worked with an international group of ministers who were skilled at running between projects, but struggled to slow down. So during the first night of our retreat in the desert, my co-facilitator and I had the ministers just sing and tell stories. The results were palpable.

Unexpected stories were shared. New relationships were built, which increase trust among the whole group. And some people identified solutions to problems they had been mulling over for weeks. 

People lingered after the session before slowly walking back to their rooms, and the next morning there was a light in people’s eyes. They were able to dive into discussions, name emotions, and welcome challenges to their thinking.

If you live in a society that values deliverables and productivity, slowing down is a challenge. Yet when you slow down to be present, you make room for unexpected connections to form. So if your goal is maximizing creative thinking, give your people a chance to slow down.

The first night of that ministers gathering went so well that we integrated more free time into the full retreat, which had a surprising result: we still completed our agenda. The shift in pace gave people space to tend to the thoughts and tasks that were running in the background of their mind. This freed them to be more present and zoom through material during sessions.

Quickness has it’s usefulness as a creative catalyst. But add slowing down to your options for creative thinking. Comment below with a space where you want to welcome more slowing down.

Create an end for yourself

When you’ve finished facilitating and your mind is racing, sometimes your usual grounding techniques don’t work to transition you back to everyday life. That’s what happened to me today.

I finished teaching an online class, kept sitting at my computer, and soon my body did not feel well. I was flooded with regret and thoughts of what I did wrong. Then my mind bounced to ideas for how I could fix things next time. I was stuck in a cycle of negative thoughts. 

Ending a process is important. When creating rituals, beginnings and endings get lots of attention, especially for those leading the ritual. And what is a group of people gathering together to learn together if not a ritual you’ve participated in since childhood? So pay attention to the boundaries of your facilitation experience, and you will increase the effectiveness of the whole process.

To create an ending for myself, I turned to gratitude. I made a list of 3 things I did well in the class as a counter to my brain’s negativity bias.  Then I said all 3 outloud, which shifted something in my head. I could see, oh wow this wasn’t a train wreck. I’m ready to take a break and celebrate. So I logged off the computer and moved on.

Integrating art into agendas

In social justice work, art and creative expression are often placed in a a support role. Many organizations will sing a song together, but once the music stops, the powerpoint and real content comes out. But if free expression is part of the world you’re trying to create, then it’s important for you to integrate art as more than decoration.

I have been integrating more music into my facilitation, and now use songs to support groups in conflict. With one group we sang a simple opening together, then when the discussion got hard I invited the group back into singing. During this second song, tears began to flow from people’s eyes. The conversation that followed carried more compassion and honesty.  

As a byproduct of Colonization and middle-class socialization, external-facing goals have displaced art as a central components of community. But when you dare to integrate artistic practices into your facilitation, you dare to open up your thinking in unexpected ways.

Now I know bringing in art can feel awkward. I feel it in my working class family, who always sing when we get together, but when we go out in public our songs get real quiet. But I have learned that those songs have supported my family think creatively and thrive when crises hit. 

So if you want people to think creatively during your sessions, then try using an artistic practice to focus the session. Go for something simple and familiar to you’re group member's experience at first. And I bet you that soon, they’ll be asking for what new art activity you’ll share with them.

Use art to support strategy

One way you can recoup energy during a busy period is to make time for art making. Art invites you to access your sense of place - a key component for grounding. When you are grounded, your body can relax and recover.

When I’m traveling for work, I keep my travel markers and notebook nearby. On planes, in meetings, or in hotel rooms I let myself draw, which helps me ground in the material world. When I hold a marker against the paper, I see how my hand pressure changes each stroke I draw.

Your art may be paints, plants, and potluck recipes, and a common thread is that art making centers you in the present moment. When I water my plants, I watch them soak in nourishment. When I dance, my breath pulses as I feel my legs stretch. You can use art to activate people's sensory experience. 

Now finding time for art making isn’t always easy, but grounding is especially important when your busy because it helps you make clear choices. When you get grounded, your visioning is more rooted in what is truly possible. So bring in the beauty of art, and watch your strategies get sharper.

Visioning for Truth

Staying grounded in your vision for change is central to stay course when doing change work.  People maintain the status quo because keeping things the same can feel safe, even if the status quo isn’t supporting our wholeness. So when you share a grounded vision for what’s possible, you give people a sense that they can survive and thrive through the change.

We all benefit from practices that help us ground into our vision for what’s possible. Many justice seeking people are mired in the problems, but you need to actively be in spaces where you can hope and vision. 

As a trainer of activists, I am cautious about to creating rooms that feel like a utopia because I don’t think it’s a set-up for people to leave workshops and integrate their experiences into their everyday life. And I find utopias a useful space for visioning, dreaming, and practice being in the worlds we strive to create. That’s why I create theatre.

In January 2016, I directed a theatre piece that invited audiences to imagine a world without the oppressions we know. This immersive piece premiered the weekend of the U.S. presidential inauguration, and people came directly from protests to the performances. Audience members spoke of their gratitude for an opportunity to remember that our collective power can bring us beyond our present circumstance.

Visioning helps people be present with what’s just beyond view. Take some time to vision today, so you have more access to your full wisdom as you work to change the world. 

Center Your Liberation to Liberate Others

Many discussions about racial justice repeat the same patterns and center white people’s learning. Repetition is a signal that something needs attention, and that a new behavior is possible. One behavior that I find uplifts everyone in racial justice is centering liberation as the goal.

We’ve had hundreds of years of racial categories, but before that humans were dealing with similar challenges of stereotypes, subjugation, survival, and liberation. Because of the human brain’s negativity bias, many racial justice conversations focus on the first three, but spend little time on liberation. 

Liberation is bigger than any individual identity, and it recognizes your choices and wholeness. Efforts for justice mirror the spiritual conversation about wholeness where people are working to recognize the parts of themselves that have been ignored by mainstream society. Where is your wholeness in your racial justice conversations?

There are times for tears and tension, and you deserve to be playful and joyful, even as you do challenging justice work in the world. When you fight for an end to racial injustice, remember the longer journey of your wholeness. 

I invite people to imagine the just world they are building, and practice living that out now. Sing and dance alongside your discussion of the world's injustices. Even good people can do harm, so welcome your own healing and wholeness as part of the journey.

Prioritize Rest

When you prioritize rest alongside your social justice work, people may look at you funny. It’s counter cultural to not stay fully immersed in the strategizing, planning, and many urgent demands. And yet rest is essential to integrate and continue doing powerful work.

When I was a community organizer, I worked all the time: planning meetings, recruiting new volunteers, managing staff, and implementing a collaborative strategy. I loved it, but I rarely took a break. 

Then I was preparing for a big direct action, and my lung spontaneously collapsed! I got great medical care, but I required a month of rest, kept me at home until the week before the direct action. 

I wanted to run back into work, but my body demanded a new rhythm. A slower rhythm that I had felt my body desiring for years, but I never made my rest a priority. Helping others was the priority, even when it meant sacrificing myself.

Rest is essential for integration, and when you don’t plan for it, your body may demand it. Athletes prioritize rest between workouts so their muscles can repair themselves and integrate new gains, and if they don’t they get injured easily. I see activists and social justice organizers forget to rest, and instead develop chronic sickness, depression, or other manifestations of illness.  

If you put an athlete’s effort into your social justice work, are you also following an athlete’s rest regiment? Right after you complete a big project, you may feel the adrenaline high, but soon your body will need to rest. Give your body the chance to recover and integrate what you learned during the project.

Like an athlete, your rest is more likely to happen if you plan for it. So look ahead to your next big project, and give yourself rest in the lead up, so you can maximize the power you’re building.

Creating a New Rhythm

Creating rituals that help you practice new ways of being is a key step toward thriving. These help your body and mind minimize shock as you shift into a new life rhythm. And like any exercise, regular practice is key. 

When I was shifting from college administration into more activist facilitation, I got involved in Occupy Philadelphia as a way to have a consistent facilitation practice. People at my university job saw that I carried a renewed passion for life back into my paid work, so when I asked for time off to continue facilitating, someone in Human Resources found the resources for me to get paid for these volunteer hours.

As you practice new rituals, their effect will ripple through your life. People reactions may feel supportive or confusing, but remember to stay focused, this is about you bringing more joy into your daily life. This can feel challenging, but as time passes it will become more familiar.

When I began facilitating more, I needed to start my workday earlier so I could commute home in time for community meetings. I hated waking up early, and my partner did not understand why I would be awake before the sun. But sticking with this new ritual gave me time to decenter my current job from my mind. Instead my other passions became a bigger focus, and I was able to carry that joy into my job. 

When you try out a new ritual, chose something that you can add to your day that isn’t too jarring for your system. It could be a daily mantra or volunteering at an organization that ignites your inner fire. The key is, do something that you can keep up.

Playing Right-Sized

When you have something stable, you may end up playing small because that’s a way to survive. I too played small in jobs and relationships, but learned that playing small couldn't keep me safe. Playing big isn’t the final answer, being you is.  

When I was working at Princeton University, I played the game: I dressed right, I met with the right people, and I learned to keep my mouth shut. Then after one national convening of colleagues, I became clear that I was done playing the game. 

While at a national conference for LGBT leaders, I went out with some colleagues to the largest gay club in the midwest, the Gay Nineties. In line for the club, someone came up behind me. I had that feeling that something had shifted. So I looked back and saw someone in a trench coat. I thought, hmm that’s odd. Then the next time I looked back the coat was open and a gun was pointed at me. 

I turned forward, and tried to act calm. As my pulse began to race, I ignored the person’s demands for my wallet while continuing through the security line. I luckily got through safely, but my professional colleagues first responses were to question me. “Did that really happen? Are you sure someone pulled a gun on you?” My mind was swirling by the time the first person asked, “Are you ok?” And I barely knew how to respond.

The next day, after some encouragement from my partner, I tried to organize a response through the right channels. I worked with with the conference organizer, a local anti-violence project leader, the police, and the club to create a coordinated response. But the key was I needed to stay quiet about my story. So I agreed. 

But when it came time to put the plan into action, the conference organizer pulled out and everything fell apart. When I met with others later, I saw that she actively disrupted the plan to keep the status quo!

The day afterward, the conference organizer confirmed that she had made a different choice. I was shocked. Then realized, oh no. She’s playing the game. She’s playing small to keep things as they are. She has a stable job and good relationship with the clubs in this town, and she wants things to stay the same. 

Playing small did not keep my safe. Instead it left me more vulnerable, because I was numbing my reactions and insights to survive. That’s when I took a risk and decided to stop playing small. So when I went back to my job, I started rocking the boat, which helped me and the people around me. 

Now I aim to be right-sized in my actions in the world. When you play small, it’s hard to hear what you’re called to do in the world. So pick up and get ready to play right-sized. The world is ready for you.

Shifting Course to Thrive

When you have a stable job doing good in the world, it can be nerve-racking to think about rocking the boat. I find this especially true for people of color in social justice work where the stakes feel higher because if you can’t be yourself in social justice work, where can you be your full self? There are strategies to thrive in social justice work, but they all mean taking a risk.

I was preparing a class on how to survive as a person of color in predominately white organizations, but during a planning session with my coach I paused as I remembered the strategies that worked for me: I followed most rules, I kept myself small, and limited my interventions to moments when I thought coworkers were open to hearing from me. I survived in those organizations, made a stable income, and still felt like I was called to do more in the world. So I took a risk. 

I listened to the voice of Spirit/God that was telling me to pause, and I quit my job. Then I took two months off, found another job, and started a new journey that has brought me joy, love, and acceptance. I moved from surviving to thriving as a person passionate for justice. 

Since then, I gotten to help individuals shift away good but limiting jobs into thriving lifestyles as musicians, dancers, ministers, and educators. It’s meant getting clear about goals, developing new grounding practices, and taking risks. And every time I’ve seen it work!

Risks are central to living a justice filled life. What risks are you being called to in your life? Let me know, I’m ready to be there with you.

Change the Rhythm

When facilitating, I create more engaging meetings by using the musical concept of rhythms. Rhythms are the patterns that make music feel smooth, surprising, energizing, or calming. Every room and group has a rhythm, for example in a library people speak quietly and they also move more slowly. Like musicians, facilitators can use rhythms to catch participants' attention, transition to a new content area, or make a session more engaging. 

A group’s rhythms are most visible in the pace of people’s actions. Many board meetings have monotonous rhythms: people speak in turn, everyone is seated, and people’s actions feel predicable. In nursery schools, you find a complicated polyrhythm as children may be singing, crying, and eating all at the same time. Every group has a natural rhythm, and you can assist a group by following or disrupting the natural rhythm.

When people are nervous at the beginning of a workshop, they may have a staccato rhythm which is noticeable in their short speech and quick glances. I try and introduce a legato or smooth rhythm to calm them down. 

Recently I taught a slow repetitive song at the beginning of a workshop to shift people’s nervousness energy. As they sang, people breathed deeper, gave each other more eye contact, and let go of their clasped hands. People shed one layer of nervousness, and afterward they were more willing to dive into the workshop content. 

When you shift the rhythm, it can feel like magic to a group. But it’s not magic, it’s tending to people’s bodily experience of being a workshop. Energizers are useful, but they only speed up the rhythm. Good music can have many different rhythms, so take a cue from your favorite songs and change the rhythm. 

Witness at play

Finding time to self-reflection is essential for taking clear next steps, but often ends up on low on the priority list. One way you can weave reflection into your life is to get yourself a witness.

You can be witnessed by calling a friend, discussing reflections on Facebook, or getting a coach. Witness is that sustained attention that teaches you to see yourself clearly. To witness takes a level of inner calm, and the quality of your witness you receive affects how much you gain from the experience.

Witnesses can be found in unexpected places. When I told my 7 year old friend about my transgender identity, she said, “Wow. Really?! I’m not sure what all this means, but it sounds important to you. Thanks so much for sharing.” Her earnestness and focus provided an opening for me to reflect and feel seen.

The wise eyes of children remind me how to slow down and be present. This is why I return to play time and time again. Play stimulates our imagination, our muscle of possibility, while grounding us in the present moment because games have an element of the unknown.

Play is a way we can train our bodies to feel safe in the unknown. The improv game “Yes! Let’s!” is a great way I’ve gotten adults into imaginative play. In “Yes! Let’s!” a person shouts out “Let’s (fill in the activity),” and a group responds, “Yes, Let’s!” and people begin pretending to do the activity until someone calls out a new activity. A favorite memory is hearing an AIDS activist say “Let’s eat an ice cream cone.”, and people pulled ice cream cones out of nowhere and started licking up the melting drips.

We all need a little play and a little unknown in our daily life. So let’s witness somebody and say “Yes, Let’s!" To the next silly proposal that comes your way. There is power in the unknown.

Celebration Mantra

Welcome a spirit of abundance into your life with a change in perspective paired with gratitude. Gratitude is a tool that welcomes abundance while keeping you grounded. 

Despite poverty, health problems, or family crises, my grandma always starts her prayers with thanks. I asked her once about how race affected her life growing up, and she said, “God has been good to me.” She shifts her awareness away from the negative toward what she wants to manifest and says thank you.

I try to follow in my grandma's footsteps and give gratitude for what is in my life. When asked, “How are you?” I aim to share honestly and cultivate what's good in my life.

Now just because it’s good, doesn’t mean it’s easy. It is good to unveil past trauma in a healing process, but it isn’t easy. It’s good to celebrate our accomplishments, but it’s not always easy to prioritize that celebration. That’s where gratitude comes in. 

You can welcome a spirit of abundance with a simple gratitude mantra. Gratitude is a muscle, so starting small helps build your strength. Here is a mantra I wrote to celebrate my gender. Choose an aspect of yourself that reminds you of  abundance, and say this mantra for yourself.

Celebration Mantra

I am a nonbinary trans woman. 
I welcome abundance into my life.
I seek truthfulness, and
I give thanks for my honesty.

I am __(a facet of you)__.
I welcome abundance into my life.
I seek __(a thing you want to cultivate)__, and
I give thanks for __(a way you cultivate)__.

Chaos and Calm

When you look at the news and the world seems to be spiraling out of control, remember nature's wisdom about cycles. Life and death, love and birth, peace and war are all cycles here on earth. They have existed before this time, and will continue well after we are gone.

Today I was writing, and my partner interrupted me. I got so frustrated that he interrupted my flow. Then I paused remembered the cycle of calm and chaos. He interrupted my sense of calm and introduced chaos, a natural cycle we see in hurricanes, earthquakes, and forest fires. So I took a breath and started writing again.

You will go through cycles of chaos and calm, but releasing your desire to stay in calm can be challenge. Andrea Parra, a lawyer and herbalist from Bogotá, Colombia, challenges people from the global north to look at chaos as something normal. You may feel overwhelmed with the chaos of this time, but remember people from the global south know chaos as part of daily life and they have survived. 

You can welcome chaos and calm, and use the same skill to navigate both: look just one step ahead. Take your work one step at a time, and release your fears about what else. We can choose our next step because beyond that is the unknown.

Connecting Through Cement

When you’re grounded you can head into a difficult conversation and support people to wage conflict with love. Sometimes challenging conversations emerge unexpectedly, and you don’t have time to prepare. That’s when a connection with nature can help you ground.

When I was with a group of artists in Toronto an exhausting conflict emerged. They were overwhelmed by the scale of our challenges, so I gave them a way to connect with nature, a force bigger than our group challenges. We were in a city building, 4 floors above the street, so I invited people to move to the windows.

“Look out at the skyline. See the sun, the people, the buildings. Remember the lives that have continued outside this room. We’ll be back with them soon, but for now, let’s just remember that they’re here."

Soon sunlight flooded the room, and people’s breathing changed. Connecting with nature, can give us a sense of the world beyond our immediate circumstance. Even through brick buildings and cement streets, we can connect with the earth. The city is part of the landscape, as the pines are part of the forest. 

During tense meetings invite people connect with nature as a way to ground their perspective. All you need is a window or the ground beneath your feet.